The sound grew like faraway thunder, starting as a feeling in the back of the teeth and growing, until it blotted out all the senses, as if some impossible winged machine were passing overhead. When it was gone, he asked the old man what the hell it could've been. "That," said the old man, "was Tuesday."
Another great news day for Governor Scott. In addition to a meeting he could somehow put off any longer with the Florida Legislative Black Caucus that didn't exactly end in champagne and hugs, our state's most popular human comic-book villain also faces the development of new guidelines for protocols and evaluation regarding Cabinet-level officials, presumably including him and his cronies not being able to make, say, the head of the FDLE disappear simply by drinking lamb's blood mixed with rattlesnake venom from a baby's skull.
Speaking of race relations, Ferguson's city manager has resigned, following the municipal judge's walk of shame out of the halls of local politics as the city continues to clean house in the wake of the Justice Department's damning report. Maybe these two can get together with those single-helixed frat-boy taintwipes that got their dumb asses expelled from OU and start a nice, hateful little new subreddit.
After weeks of anticipatory scuttlebutt, the Bucs came out with a bit of a whimper on the first day of the NFL free agency by letting an offensive tackle go after just one year on the team. *Lays wide awake in bed all morning wondering if that line sounds like a real football thing*
And finally, a Christian group in Alaska held a rededication service for its local philanthropic endeavor-slash-shelter, the Glory Hole. Heh.
(Image by GorillaSushi via Wikimedia Commons.)