Good morning! Tommy Stinson was rad as hell at the shuffleboard courts last night; his sideman Chippy was on point.
Three people were transferred to the hospital with non-critical injuries after being stabbed at Peking Chinese Restaurant in Hillsborough. Guys, I need more. What happened, you guys? IT'S CALLED A DEVELOPING STORY FOR A REASON, PEOPLE. Don't tell me more details are coming, and then not come with the details. Don't make me watch Bay News 9.
A Bradenton relative of Charles Manson won the right to claim the deceased cult leader's body after a lengthy, circus-like court battle. If there's anything more American than having to defend your right to your psychotic relative's remains against folks who want to exploit its likeness for personal gain, I don't know what it is, but I suspect it's just that with the addition of a Kid Rock song playing in the background.
And finally, if you were looking for a little bit of Florida sunshine in your headlines yesterday, you could've done a hell of a lot worse than "Florida woman slips out of handcuffs, bites deputy on leg." Fresh squeezed, extra pulp.