Sh*t Happened 3/28/17: East coast shark bite, cops seek thief and pilot, Florida panther finds new territory

Here's a geographically and topically diverse mixed bag of a Florida news round-up, courtesy of The Day Of The Week With The Worst Publicist Ever.

So Volusia County over on the east coast notched its first shark bite of the year. The victim, a 58-year-old surfer, was bitten on the foot and is totally fine beyond the nagging disappointment that comes with suspecting he could've endured a slightly worse attack if it had meant a better story and scar.

Sarasota cops need the public's help in identifying and locating a man who stole nearly $400 worth of wine from a tasting event earlier this month. The link includes video of the man dressed in white pants and a Hawaiian shirt. He is suspected to be touristy with a hint of cluelessness up front, belying a stealthy finish with notes of amorality.

Also from the "cops seeking criminals" section of the personals, Treasure Island authorities are looking for this asshole pilot who recklessly performed an illegal takeoff from the congested waters near John's Pass in his ultralight. Dickhead was probably just compensating for not owning a plane made of material that doesn't flap when the wind hits it.

And finally, biologists have verified the presence of Florida panther kittens north of the Caloosahatchee River for the first time in more than 40 years, inspiring new hope for the critically endangered species' chances for survival. Take that, Monday! (And also humanity's seemingly uncontrollable penchant for screwing nature at every turn.)

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