Welcome to Tuesday, your favorite day of the week except for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Cheers!
In a series of exclusive interviews, unlikeable former true-crime TV obsession Casey Anthony displayed the same creepy narcissistic nonchalance and pathological inability to tell the truth that led a lot of people to assume she got away with killing her own baby Caylee nearly a decade ago (and also, I assume, directly inspired the character Nick Dunne in Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl). Seriously, read the Times piece and see if it doesn't make you need a shower.
Three months into the gig, the new head of embattled, controversial program Enterprise Florida, which basically doles out corporate welfare in the form of subsidies to attract new business to the state, resigned yesterday, citing a schism with Florida Governor/EP evangelist/Mr. Burns stunt double Rick Scott over a cohesive vision for the org's future. That Enterprise Florida is probably (and rightly) doomed wasn't explicitly mentioned in his resignation, oddly enough.
A pharmacist was arrested in Hillsborough County for DUI and felony drug position after cops pulled her over for doing 25 mph on the freeway and found more than 150 Xanax, painkillers and muscle relaxers in the car. Never get high on your own supply, even if "your own supply" is, you know, a pharmacy.
And finally, we're sure you've already heard about this, but it bears repeating: Cheesy beach bard Jimmy Buffett is licensing his name and laid-back style to a new retirement community, Latitude Margaritaville. Jimmy Buffett... is a fucking genius. "But he doesn't have my respect with regard to the essential validity of his musical output!" you wail, shaking the flimsy walls of your studio apartment, while Jimmy Buffet orders another personal jet, with a helicopter on the side. (And also, you know you like at least one Jimmy Buffet song, and that's why it really stings.)