Just the Tuesday hits:
A man who was the victim of a road rage incident in Kenneth City yesterday claims he was targeted because of his Trump/Pence bumper sticker and flag. This would normally be the place where we'd make a light joke about trusting a Trump supporter not to exaggerate the incident or perhaps make claims that diverge from the actual details of the incident (or ask to see his tweets about it), but road rage is serious and screwed up and shouldn't happen for any reason, period. Use your social justice warriors' hands for decrying fake news online, not for fisticuffs, OK, Berniebros?
The Hillsborough County Commission voted down potentially stifling regulations on medical marijuana dispensary limits. Don't worry, the free market-loving, totally pro-new business forces in the state legislature will take care of that eventually.
And finally, Lakeland cops responding to a noise complaint Monday night ended up busting a cockfighting ring. Seeing as the guy was an experienced enough cockfighter to have his own ring and a bevvy of, seriously, performance-enhancing drugs for fighting roosters (including a prescription from the Dominican Republic!), you'd think he would've known the number-one rule of semi-suburban cockfighting: Roosters make a shit ton of noise.
This article appears in Mar 2-9, 2017.