Sh*t happened 4/1/15: Travolta, pot and pier fatigue


Isn't it weird how those people who like to point out how "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result" keep repeating that shit and assuming we'll take their advice? I give you April Fool's Eve.

Actor, Scientologist and perennial rumor bullseye John Travolta will host a screening of his new movie The Forger at Clearwater's Capitol Theatre on April 18, with proceeds benefiting Ruth Eckerd Hall's student arts program. A cynic might assume a connection between this bit of hometown feel-good PR and the recent release of that anti-Scientology documentary, but that notion ignores the thorny question of why anyone, anywhere would think an association with a film that looks as bad as The Forger could be a good idea.

Pot is legendary for its friend-making abilities, but the state is perfectly capable of ballsing that up, too: A new bill attempting to get things moving on the legal Charlotte's Web strain of medical marijuana is tangled up in controversy over a provision that only allows farms that have been in business for at least 30 years to apply for licenses, which screws over black farmers (again) who were fighting with the post-segregation Department of Agriculture over discriminatory policies back then. Who'd have thought stealing thousands of human beings away from their homelands and turning them into living, breathing, bleeding cogs in an agri-industrial machine would've had such complicated and long-lasting consequences?

Silver Airways, the budget short-distance flight service that uses those little planes my wife isn't getting on, has canceled its short-lived jumps from St. Pete-Clearwater International Airport to Fort Lauderdale and Key West due to lack of demand. The password is "backhanded compliment."

April 23 might be the date St. Petersburg's Pier Selection Committee announces its three finalists among the current design candidates. Is anybody else experiencing that unique sense of fatigue usually reserved for shopping for school clothes with Mom? "Unh ... whatever is fine ... I don't care ... sooooo tired ... wanna ride my biiiike..."

And finally, "Getty Heir Found Dead in Suspicious Scene Involving Rectal Injury." Live rich, die weird.

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