Sh*t happened 4/15/15: Strippers, inadvertent confessions and the stingray shuffle

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Tuesday was a day of learning. Pity so many have to learn the hard way so spectacularly — but then again, if everyone was a quick study, I'd be out of a gig.

A Hillsborough neighborhood is doing its damnedest to stymie the goings-on at a mansion bought with the intention of making it the location for a reality show about strippers, but allegedly is being used as a "stripper school." Look: Not everybody who loves exotic dancers wants them pole-dancing loud 'n' proud within walking distance of their kid's daycare center. (Read: within the spouse's immediate sphere of awareness.)

A Pinellas idiot who got off easy by claiming a shooting was the result of a drug deal gone bad was finally found guilty of manslaughter after writing a rap boasting about the killing. Aspiring MCs who also happen to be actual murderers, take note: Bone up on the basics of mistrials, hung juries and attached double jeopardy before performing jams like "I Got Away With It," "Can't Catch This Killa" or "I Lied About Where I Was at 11:35 p.m. On Monday, January 2, 2012."

And finally, Clearwater Beach has reported about 30 stingray injuries so far this season. That's 30 people who disregarded signs posted every 18 inches, Steve Irwin's globally publicized death, a universally recognized Gulf Coast danger and a catchy little slogan that's been in place for, what, more than two decades now? DO THE SHUFFLE, FOLKS.

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