Hey, you know what? Let's get right to it — Wednesday, by the bullets:
The Bolts shut out the Red Wings 2-0 in the final game of the quarterfinals, and will advance to a semifinal series against the Montreal Canadiens, who are probably politely shocked that they've gotta play another postseason series against a hockey team from the swampy southern crotch-joint of America.
Nearly a dozen members of the gang known as the Norte 14, originally arrested in 2013, have been or will be sentenced after accepting plea deals for crimes that range from robbery to homicide. If you're wondering why known gang members were offered plea deals at all after an investigation that spanned ten months and must have amassed a wealth of incriminating evidence, feel free to invite me over for drinks and a conversation about the magical place where budget constraints, bleeding hearts, the Constitution and stymied hard-case legislators all come together, and almost everybody loses.
Former and current Walmart employees staged a protest over being misled about the reason a store in the Brandon/Valrico area was closed, and the details of its workers being transferred. OK, I'm bit torn between feeling for these folks and wondering what they could possibly expect on the loyalty front from a company that has literally tried to pay its employees in Walmart gift cards, so let's just get these folks re-hired somewhere else as soon as we can, OK? (Not at Bass Pro Shops, though.)
Times entertainment writer Sean Daly joined the ranks of well-known Bay area journalists announcing a shift to a new career. Whoever took "game show host" in the pool to the laughter of fellow journos is about to collect big time.
And finally, a San Diego man is recovering after being yanked off a fishing boat while posing with his catch by a sea lion who wanted it more than he did. Sea World, a company known for brainwashing marine mammals into leaping from the sea to grab a meal when being teased, claims no connection.
Image of the Lightning's Ben Bishop by Lisa Gansky via Wikimedia Commons.
This article appears in Apr 23-29, 2015.