Sh*t Happened 4/14/17: Hillsborough tap water fouler than usual, crossing guards needed, Python Necropsy rocks

So I guess yesterday was the bomb, right, ha ha, hug your kids because humanity's reign is over.

Lots of Tampa residents are complaining that their tap water smells and tastes bad. City authorities say it's being caused by an algae bloom in the reservoir, but that the water is totally safe to drink. Just think of it as training for when no water comes out of the tap because that Nestle dick owns it all, and you're siphoning muddy dregs out of an alley puddle with a LifeStraw to survive. Wow, that went dark quickly. (Also, Tampa Bay tap water has always tasted gross.)

The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office is hiring school crossing guards for the forthcoming new school year. You know, for an area that's perennially high on lists of the most dangerous places in the country for pedestrians. Enjoy your $11.51 an hour, human targets.

And finally, if you're in the market for a name for your death metal band, you could do worse than Python Necropsy. And don't start your shit about how there was already a Necropsy, I know that, don't tell me, I recorded at Morrisound and played with all those bands whose logos look like phlegm sounds, I'm old, OK? It's a joke, shut up.

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