Sh*t happened 5/1/15: Buckhorn chooses wisely, the Bucs not so much

Thursday was the ultimate mixed bag — Tampa's leadership invested its future in a role model, while the hometown NFL team demonstrated it doesn't give a shit about honorable qualities so long as the touchdowns rack up.

Mayor Bob Buckhorn has named 26-year force veteran and current Assistant Police Chief Eric Ward to succeed Jane Castor as Tampa's top cop. You can side-eye all you want about the timing of hiring an African American chief while the TPD is being investigated by the DOJ for possible racial bias in one of its programs, but Ward seems like the city's best bet for bridging the chasm between the postcard come-on vision of "Riverwalk Tampa" and the realities of some of its less fortunate neighborhoods, and that can only be a good thing.

The Bucs went ahead and made "troubled" (read: immature, entitled, thoughtless jackass and accused perpetrator of sexual assault) FSU quarterback Jameis Winston their first-round draft pick. Seriously, fuck professional football.

The Clearwater Marine Aquarium has scuttled its plan to relocate from cramped Island Estates to a larger downtown campus. Rumors that the aquarium was pressured into waiting until Scientology perfects an E-meter capable of interpreting dolphin language remain unsubstantiated.

And finally, in the wake of the failed Comcast/Time Warner Cable merger, Time Warner and Charter Communications are reportedly making moves toward acquiring Bright House Networks. That's great news for Bay area residents who are perfectly happy with the spotty service they currently receive, but still yearn for that singularly soul-destroying customer experience only a faceless corporate behemoth can provide.

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