Sh*t happened 5/12/15: Zimmerman strikes again, wrong-way drivers & Idol's last gasp


Monday was a day of endings and beginnings, of final chapters and new hope. Mostly, that is — apparently it's business as usual for a single armed-and-violent Lake Mary, Fla. resident.

Florida's candidate for Mr. Second Amendment USA, George Zimmerman, was involved in a road rage incident that left him with minor injuries when the other party, Florida's candidate for Mr. Responsible Gun Ownership & Marksmanship Training USA, shot at him. Zimmerman had reportedly beefed with the other party in a prior incident. Shocking. Since shooting unarmed Trayvon Martin, the guy's put up more mugshots than a rural post office worker.

In response to  record numbers of Tampa Bay motorists being injured or killed by vehicles traveling the wrong way in Interstate lanes and ramps, the Florida Department of Transportation is adding new signs to dozens of area locations along the highways. The purpose of the signs is to appear in photographs accompanying future news stories with headlines like "Expensive Signs Fail to Eliminate Sad, Stupid, Inevitable Vehicular Tragedies" and quotes from officials like "It's not our fault, we put up signs."

A woman robbed three Brandon banks in less than 30 minutes, only to be arrested while driving home to her apartment after using her own car, featuring her own license plate, to commit the crimes. It's always some tiny detail that scuttles a perfect crime...

And finally, American Idol's next season, its 15th, will also be its last. I know, I know, I couldn't believe it either — American Idol is still on?

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