It's Thursday. Hey, ho, let's go:
If you're not yet mortified to be a resident of such a jacked-up state, rest easy knowing that Alan Grayson, Democrat, noted knob and our esteemed representative for Florida's 9th congressional district — and one of the guys eyeing Rubio's Senate seat — called Tampa Bay Times politics editor Adam Smith "a shitting robot" who "goes around shitting on people." Alan Grayson is a blustery self-conscious hairpiece trumpeting its own importance from atop the scalp of an idiot scarecrow stuffed with bad ideas.
The Rays baseballed well. Here's hoping they continue to baseball with the fervor and talent it takes to baseball to a higher standing within the baseballing community.
Yesterday in ironies: The sons of a couple who ran a church offering an alternative to drug addiction were busted for dealing coke, and are now waiting to be sentenced. What do you do with some guys who were undeterred by the threat of both eternal damnation and a serious parental ass-whoopin'?
And finally, a couple of Lecanto guys hired to drive a hearse containing the body of a veteran of multiple wars got busted stopping off at the Dunkin' Donuts for a coffee run, and that was the end of their (actually) long careers as body couriers. Now I'm not a veteran, and I don't ever plan on dying, and when I do, I plan on being cremated. But if my remains — whatever form they take, be it ash or juicy, cored-out flesh (BE AN ORGAN DONOR, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE) — need to be transported somewhere, I'll put it in my will that they can stop off for a coffee or a burger or whatever, Jesus, lighten up, people.
This article appears in May 7-13, 2015.