Sh*t happened 5/4/15: Graduation, Mayweather beats Pacquaio (and women)


Gather 'round while I run it down, and unravel this past weekend's pedigree:

FRIDAY, MAY 1:

College graduation season began with ceremonies at University of South Florida. Congratulations on completing levels "Birth" and "School." Achievements "Work," "Debt" and "Death" are now unlocked. Get some!

The Florida Supreme Court found that Florida's House of Representatives violated the state constitution by adjourning early, but also that it was really too late to do anything about it. Thanks for giving Steve Crisafulli and whichever entitled brats succeed him absolutely no reason not to do it again whenever, guys.

SATURDAY, MAY 2:

Boxer and known abuser of women Floyd Mayweather Jr. beat opponent Manny Pacquaio in a unanimous judge's decision after what many are saying was one of the most boring fights they would ever spend $100 again to watch on Pay Per View. Mayweather remains undefeated, and also a very wealthy woman-beater, and many of you subsidized that.

SUNDAY, MAY 3:

And finally, the Tampa Bay Times debunked John Boehner's stupid, offhanded comment on Meet the Press in which he claimed Americans spend more on antacids than they do on politics. Orange, empty and somewhat reminiscent of a dunce cap, John Boehner is obviously a traffic cone, and nothing more.

Image by David Maiolo via Wikimedia Commons.

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