Good morning! Today is National Eat What You Want Day, because that's exactly what the most out-of-shape, unhealthy, impulse-driven, self-gratifying country on the face of the planet needs.
That USF football player who was arrested for false imprisonment and sexual battery over a March incident was arrested for the same thing again, and dismissed from the team. Collegiate sports! Bastions of character-building, all-American values, etc.
More than 100 volunteers and representatives from various agencies worked together to rescue those two manatees trapped in a New Port Richey canal. The animals are currently at Lowry Park Zoo; no word on how many people it will take to rescue them from there.
Here's a heartwarming soft-news story about a little girl, a seahorse named Cheeto and the Clearwater Marine Aquarium, which seems to be on some sort of aggro good-press offensive lately.
And finally, there's this dipshit. Teach, your children well, their children's hell will slowly go by and all that.
This article appears in May 11-18, 2017.