Sh*t happened 5/19/16: Lightning flounder, PETA honors Haus, Zimmerman is a deathghoul

So, so many local hockey fans are bummed today. Not bummed enough to get into baseball, but pretty close. But remember, it's always darkest before the tough get cornered and the animals come out swinging, or ... something.

The Bolts kind of got their asses handed to 'em last night in Game 3. Bishop didn't play. Neither did some of the Bolts who were actually on the ice. Zing! Oh, did I use that joke earlier this week? It's almost as if I'm not even trying... (meta-zing!)

In more uplifting news, remember Haus, the rescued German shepherd mix who took some bites while saving his family's daughter from a rattlesnake a week ago? He's been honored with a Heroic Dog Award from PETA. "We are unbelievably moved by this gesture acknowledging Haus's heroism," said the dog's family. "It will allow us to treasure him forever after we perform the traditional hero's ceremony of our own people, in which we eat him." Oh cruel, cruel irony.

Unable to find a buyer, bankrupt retailer Sports Authority is closing all of its stores, including a dozen in the Tampa Bay area. It's truly a crazy economy that can't sustain a chain of 12,000-square-foot megastores where people might go to buy a can of tennis balls or a spool of fishing line.

And finally, living incarnation of wrong George Zimmerman was apparently able to find a buyer for the gun he used to kill a 17-year-old kid on a convenience store run, making a reported $120K in the auction. Per the terms of the auction, the top bidder remains anonymous, but I don't suppose we'll get so lucky that it turns out to be this guy.

Image by GreenvilleAvenue75206 via Wikimedia Commons.

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