We've disarmed Wednesday, it's OK to point and laugh.
Let's open with the most self-explanatory Florida Man headline we've seen in a while, shall we? "Sword-Wielding Florida Man Attacked 2 Over Socks." You're welcome!
The Hillsborough County Commission voted to extend the wait period for purchasing a firearm from three to five days. Which is fine; it's not a fucking burrito or a glass of water. That people are pissed off about this even though it infringes on neither one's right to keep nor one's right to bear arms just illustrates that some gun enthusiasts can't be reasonable about anything. So it's probably a good thing that they get an extra two days to cool off after an argument in Hillsborough County, right? Right. #pointproven
For the second time in a week, a contractor broke a reclaimed water line in St. Pete, this time leaking 120,000 gallons of fully treated water. St. Pete needs more careful contractors. (Everybody needs more careful contractors, obvs.)
The Lightning beat the Bruins 4-1 in Boston to go up 2-1 in the second round of the NHL playoffs. You guys, if you read this column you know how little I care about sports, and even I'm getting excited.
And finally, some 45-year-old dude was charged with DUI after he crashed his BMW into a Pinellas County Waffle House. Witnesses reported that patrons scattered to avoid being smothered; it's unclear whether the damage is covered. Shit, not even I'm proud of that one. Have a great day!