Are you drunk already? You're drunk already, aren't you? A word of advice, my young idiot who mistakenly thinks he's celebrating Mexican Independence Day: Go easy on that liver, lest it become a pre-existing condition.
The mayor of Madeira Beach called for the city manager to be fired during a chaotic and emotional public city commission meeting. Bonus: a face-licking incident is mentioned. Small-town politics: Just like reality television, only, you know, real.
Among the good things our state legislature did yesterday (including passing a bill to implement pro-solar Amendment 4) that made our federal government look even more actively evil by way of comparison was move medical marijuana legislation through the Senate. When the Florida state government seems competent, progressive and humanitarian next to the federal government, the country being governed might want to reconsider its choices, just sayin'.
And finally, a Lake Worth family has had to have six venomous water moccasin snakes removed from their property in the last seven days. Experts are blaming the profusion of cottonmouths on the unusually dry weather, while non-experts speculate that an ancient evil reawakened to wreak vengeance through a legacy of terror would probably sound cooler.