Sh*t happened 6/2/15: Lawmakers suit up for special session, hurricane season begins


It's the second day of June and the second day of the week.

Coincidence?

Of course not.

Our irrefutable evidence of the numerological significance the universe has bestowed?

Well, a couple of yesterday's top news stories revolved around second chances. Others are just 2-crazy. For example:

The Florida Legislature met for the first day of its three-week special session in which members must pass a budget, something they didn't do the first time around because they were arguing over whether to accept federal funding that would insure more people or not. So now they're back, and have till June 30 to pass a budget, and if they don't, a dire hellscape will probably ensue.

Caitlyn Jenner debuted on the cover of Vanity Fair, photoshopped to the gills like every other magazine cover model. The Jacksonville Times-Union caught fire after running the headline "Bruce Jenner poses as Caitlyn Jenner for Vanity Fair's July cover." After a crash course in how to cover transgender issues, the headline was changed to reflect that there isn't a Bruce Jenner anymore. Scores of readers picked up on the difference and vowed to treat all trans people, famous or not, with respect, sensitivity and non-judgment. We kid. They blew it by instead using it as an opportunity to point out how "screwed-up" the Kardashians are.

Pinellas County leaders marked the start of the 2015 Atlantic Hurricane season by reminding people who live or work on barrier islands to get their coastal reentry passes, which would give them access to their homes or jobs should mandatory evacuations take place. Forecasters predict it will be a slower-than-normal season, but that people should still be prepared just in case. We presume this includes purchasing hurricane party supplies for when an ugly named storm dissipates before making landfall. Also, a word of warning to over-zealous, coastal-reentry-pass-demanding law enforcement officials: Remember that the state Legislature just made it ok for hurricane evacuees to pack unregistered heat. Just sayin'...

And finally...

Federal authorities are investigating a facility in Hendry County called Primate Products Inc. after a PETA employee went undercover as a worker there and shot footage of monkeys in "inhumane and unsanitary conditions." Many lived outdoors in small cages, suffering injuries and being vulnerable to freezing temperatures and bears. Leaving monkeys exposed to the elements and covered in their own feces, for the sake of "research"? We thought that kind of thing ended around the same time we stopped using elephants in circuses… oh, right. 

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