Sh*t happened 6/5/15: More GOP hopefuls, teen repeat offender and Taco Bell gets wetzoned


You might want to know that some things did indeed happen while you spent yesterday under the covers, alternately mope-napping and listening to ESPN's post mortems of the Bolts loss:

Terrible person and former Texas Governor Rick Perry announced his second bid for the GOP presidential nomination, while slightly less frightening option Jeb Bush's camp hinted very loudly and strongly that he would formally announce his own candidacy in Miami on June 15. We're just a Trump away from a perfect storm of bad ideas in leadership here, people.

Florida U.S. Representative David Jolly co-sponsored a bill to extend the ban on oil drilling off Florida's west coast for an additional five years, until 2027, further confusing both Democrats who were never sure they hated him and Republicans who haven't been sure he's totally "on board" since that whole "if people want gay marriage, we should give 'em gay marriage" thing.

Remember those two kids who were arrested for snatching the prom-ticket money box at Riverview's Spoto High School back in May? One of 'em has been pinched again, this time for snatching a 13-year-old girl's phone at a bus stop. And lest ye think it was some teen misunderstanding, the dude was wearing a ski mask at the time. Kid's got an oddly specialized criminal focus. He's a snatcher, preparing for an illicit career in snatching. Weird and sad. Maybe he'll turn his life around, start snatching for the government.

And finally, inevitable destination for really drunk people Taco Bell has announced it's done beating around the bush, and will offer booze at a new location to open in Chicago this summer. Now the only thing missing from the menu is regret.

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