Good morning, and happy first day of hurricane season! That's right, June's already here. Where does the time go? (It goes into a wealthy person's TimeBank(tm). That's where it goes.) In any case, here's your forecast for today: Those small pockets of self-doubt that didn't fade early this morning will coalesce into a system of disappointment with one's choices following lunch, but the high pressure of the midafternoon means we shouldn't be giving a shit by sunset.
The city of St. Petersburg received its permit from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to begin construction on its new pier (remember that thing?), amid suggestions from some quarters that we maybe pump the brakes and think about things for a minute here. After all, how many of you have been walking the east end of downtown since the old pier was demolished, taken a look out over the placid sunlit bay and thought, "that's a hell of an unobstructed view that didn't cost 80 million dollars"?
In other St. Pete news, the hourly metered rate for downtown parking goes from $1 to $1.50 today, as part of a new strategy to loosen streetside parking gridlock and encourage garage parking. Certain garages will also be offering the first hour of parking free as part of the plan. This isn't going to change anything, primarily because anyone going downtown has another dollar. Also, nobody can see you pulling your unicycle out of the back of your hybrid SUV as your vegan French bulldog jumps cutely from the shotgun seat wearing her fair-trade doggie romper if you park in a garage.
Three men in Pasco County apparently all woke up on the same day and thought, "You know what? Today I'm gonna aggressively make people watch me jerk it in public whether they're into that or not." They were not.
And finally, a very old and very white tradition came to an end as the Belleview Biltmore Golf Club saw its last rounds on Wednesday after more than 90 years. The property will undergo an 18-month renovation and reopen as The Pelican Golf Club, where the folks that walked the Biltmore course for decades can pay twice as much for the added experience of ducking wild 300-yard tee shots by 27-year-old douchebags.
This article appears in Jun 1-8, 2017.