Sh*t happened 6/6/16: RIP the Greatest, battle to rename Lake Horney (heh, "horney")

So it seems hurricane season took a page from The Contemporary Christmas Shopping Season Marketing Playbook and kicked things off a little earlier this year, yes? In a couple of years it'll start on Memorial Day, then the Monday after Easter, and before you know it we'll be giving each other cutesy decorative sandbags on Valentine's. Stay safe out there today, everybody.

FRIDAY, JUNE 3:

Lakeland city commissioners have agreed to poll residents living in the vicinity of Lake Horney in order to gauge demand for changing the name. Why would anyone be embarrassed to live on Lake Horney? Didn't they come for the leer-able views, and stay for the lecherous property values? Horney.

We lost the the Greatest of All Time. Ask yourself how an outspoken Muslim of Ali's profile at the height of his fame might be treated in our current cultural climate. Then ask yourself if you consider that progress.

SATURDAY, JUNE 4:

A 26-year-old felon illegally possessing a firearm shot and killed a 19-year-old who was smashing the former's windshield with a baseball bat during an altercation in Gibsonton. Let's put that image on some currency, shall we?

In the wake of the retirement of Ryko after eight years on the job, the Dade City PD needs a new four-legged K9 officer. As police dogs are pretty expensive — around $10K — the Dade City Kiwanis club is throwing a fundraising barbecue for the department on June 23. Please do your part, because dogs that facilitate delicious, delicious BBQ are the real heroes.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5:

And finally, a small private plane was forced to land on 56th Street near USF. The plane landed safely, and the pilot, its sole occupant, was unhurt. No details were given regarding what prompted the emergency landing, because there's not really any cool, vague aviation jargon for "pants-crappingly terrifying weather."

Scroll to read more Tampa Bay News articles
Join the Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.

Newsletters

Join Creative Loafing Tampa Bay Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at [email protected]