Sh*t Happened 6/9/17: Local beaches pooped, father-son time goes horribly awry, emu home

Yesterday's news, snarked.

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click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 6/9/17: Local beaches pooped, father-son time goes horribly awry, emu home
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It's Friday. It's sunny again. You're... not here. You're gone, aren't you? We understand.

Four local beaches — Northshore Beach, Maximo Beach, Fort DeSoto's North Beach and Lassing Park — were issued warnings for high levels of mammalian poop bacteria. The postcard practically writes itself.

A guy used his 13-year-old son to steal $800 worth of wire from a Clearwater Lowe's, then ditched the kid when the kid was detained by store security. If you click through and read the story and then grouse at me because I didn't mention here that the dad eventually came back, I'll have to counter that your grasp of what's really important is tenuous at best.

That roadwork on the St. Pete side of Gandy that was supposed to be finished by now won't be done until fall. Or ever. Let's just say ever. Given local governments' blind insistence that playing an eternal game of catch-up with a single and increasingly outmoded transit protocol will somehow eventually fix the Bay area's traffic woes, I mean.

And finally, our long regional rogue-emu nightmare is over. Apparently, Easter the emu was, uh, right over there.

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