Sh*t happened 7/21/15: Jolly, Crist, Busch Gardens, HART


Ever wonder what it would feel like if you thought you were finally free of yesterday, and then yesterday showed up while you were trying to eat your cereal and get ready to deal with today and threw up all over everything? That's kind of what I do for a living:

TripAdvisor's crazy slideshow-heavy website ranked Busch Gardens 17th among its list of the top 25 amusement parks. Rides AND animals — how can you go wrong when there's so much shit on which to spend less money than it'll cost you to go to Disney? Bonus points for made-up exotic names. "Tame The Couljae!" *retches a little*

Republican that even some moderate Democrats just can't hate David Jolly officially announced a Senate run, while Charlie Crist said he might take a crack at a representing a district including his hometown of St. Pete, depending on how the un-gerrymandering shakes out. Bold! Provocative! Risky! None of these words describes the political process in Florida. At least the Greeks took a shot, jeez.

Hillsborough County's public transit body HART said an extra $30 million per year in tax-generated revenue would really help it to suck less. Also: water wet, sliced bread greatest thing since itself. It never ceases to amaze me that a county whose roads resemble nothing so much as a post-apocalyptic moonscape can't raise more money for mass transit; I'd give one of my wrinkly danglers for a public ride from St. Pete to Ybor that took less than an hour and a half.

And finally, a Bradenton landscaper died after driving a mower into a four-foot-deep pond and becoming trapped underneath it. A bunch of jokes that make me sound like a total unfeeling asshole come to mind, so we'll skip it, and just remember him as dedicated and thorough.


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