It is Tuesday, and has rained every day since, well, what, Easter? But once we wring out our weary souls, we'll find them fuzzy with the healthy, green, growing sprouts of new hope and ideas. Or maybe we'll all just die of Wader's Lung — what am I, a doctor?
Good news for common sense: The Boy Scouts of America announced it has finally discerned the difference between homosexuality and every sex offense involving a minor. Huzzah!
The USF Bulls football team has new uniforms. They're great. Looks like they took a little off the ... and maybe they streamlined just a bit of the ... it's brighter here on the ... shit, I dunno. I'm just happy to find out USF has a sportsball program.
A Sarasota Police officer has been placed on leave pending investigation into a video that allegedly shows him throwing peanuts at a prisoner "as if feeding a dog or an animal at the zoo." On the one hand, it's reassuring to know the officer has the confidence in his authority and position to treat a member of the community he's sworn to serve this way in full view of what's gotta be a conspicuously placed security camera. On the other — what? Oh, no, you're right, that's just an unfeeling asshole right there.
And finally, a company will begin test marketing an app-based service for delivering Publix groceries to your home in the Tampa Bay area next month. Progress is just an increasingly stylish train on the tracks to Shut-In City, people.