Sh*t happened 7/30/15: Bernie streams, beaches disease-y, PC overkill

"Nothing is infinite, Thomas," said Burroughs. "Resources are limited, actions have consequences. Omelets, eggs, and so forth. For you to get rich, somebody else has gotta get poor."

Thomas stood at the railing, watching the waves swirl and foam against the yacht's hull. Finally, he said, "So, how many people do I have to hurt?"

"That depends," replied Burroughs, handing Thomas a drink. "How rich to you want to be?"

Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders whipped his progressive fanbase into a frenzy last night via watch parties for his nationwide livestream. Maybe they'll all tucker themselves out and be napping when it becomes apparent that Bernie Sanders will never, ever be allowed to become president.

Health advisories were issued for four Bay area beaches — Picnic Island, Cypress Point, Ben T. Davis and Bahia Beach in Ruskin — due to high bacteria levels. Oh, and if you go into the water after being bitten by a disease mosquito, you simply burst into flame.

And finally, FlagWatch(tm) has reached its logical conclusion — students at Hillsborough's Robert E. Lee Elementary School have petitioned the board to change the institution's name. And of course they made a Hitler comparison, because obviously Hitler and ol' General Lee are the same, being the only two well-known historical figures with blood on their hands.


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