Sh*t Happened 7/18/16: Local fires, dude hits house, Methodists cool

There are no words, really. But here are some anyway.


A Tampa woman was accidentally shot and killed by her daughter, after the daughter discovered her son had brought a handgun into the house. *nation shakes head, tsks, remarks on the misfortune of the situation, does literally nothing else about it*


The United Methodist Church elected its first openly gay bishop, despite the fact that the church itself is still technically (officially?) anti-homosexuality. Kudos for putting the "protest" back in Protestant, folks.

Sarasota cops had to Tase a bro after said bro ran his "gold Oldsmobile SUV" (ugh) into a house, then fled the scene. The article uses the word "uncooperative" to describe the dude, possibly because it's the kind of news site that would get complaints if it ran the phrase "shithoused to oblivion."

Another day, another Bay area fire, this one in New Port Richey. As if everything else about this summer wasn't hellish enough.

"They don't have earthquakes off Florida's east coast," said someone who was very recently proven wrong.


It got worse.

And finally, are you still not freaked out enough? OK, here, have, seriously, another local fire. Meet me at the top of the beer can building after last call, we'll wait for the meteor together.

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