Sh*t Happened 7/25/17: Door-to-door gator tail salesman busted, St. Pete Beach considers liquor on the sand

Plus: This Clearwater property's price might make you throw up in your mouth a little!

Good morning, and Happy Well-Funded St. Petersburg Mayoral Candidates' Televised Debate Day! The community holds its breath. Well, not the entire community; City Council candidate Eritha "Akile" Cainion and the Uhuru Solidarity Movement are staging a rally, prompted by fringe mayoral candidate and easily trolled hothead Paul Congemi's racist rant last week, in Williams Park a half-hour before the debate. Williams Park is not too far from the Palladium, where the, ahem, exclusive mayoral debate is going down.

But we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves.

A Lakeland man was arrested and faces charges after allegedly killing a seven-foot alligator by stabbing it in the head, then cutting off its tail and walking around the neighborhood trying to sell it. Which apparently struck him as, if not a perfectly normal thing to do, then at least a thing to do. Or maybe he read it on reallyterribleideaspresentedsarcasticallyasgreatones.com, and misunderstood. Sometimes sarcasm is tough to discern online.

St. Pete Beach is considering letting hotels serve alcohol to their guests, and their guests only, on the portion of the beach up from the shore where the cabanas are. "Our guests expect that upscale tropical experience," said some hotel manager who thinks plastic cups and wristbands make it feel like Sir Richard Branson's private island. "That's not fair! What about us?" said locals who've had to endure years of barely even trying to conceal their public beach drinking.

Hillsborough County officials took the first steps toward relocating that pesky Confederate monument, by which I mean they went to the Brandon cemetery they'd already voted to move it to, looked around and went, "yep." Click the link, then let's discuss whether or not you think the shade inherent in the phrase "nestled between a popular taco stand location and a pawn shop" was intentional.

And finally, a 17,000-square-foot Clearwater mansion that sold for a record $11.18 million four months ago is "completely redone" and back on the market for $19.75 million. Can a 17,000-square-foot mansion be completely redone in four months? I sincerely doubt it, but I bet a properly prepared and motivated individual could upper-decker all of its bathrooms during a single open house.

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