Good morning. It may only be Wednesday, but soon you'll be able to force your rideshare driver to stop for shit food, so at least there's that.
So The Great Televised Rick-Off finally occurred last night at the Palladium. Sigh. This whole thing really is gonna come down to some people deciding which single, individual man to blame for a complex system failure half a century in the making, isn't it? That seems… yeah, that seems about right.
A 43-year-old Brooksville man was arrested following a road rage incident that allegedly included him brandishing a samurai sword at a couple and threatening to kill them with it. A samurai sword. You know, like the one you wanted when you were 13. Nice adulting, adult.
Cult-beloved actor and potential next white male celebrity to start gradually getting like super weird Val Kilmer canceled his upcoming appearance at Tampa Bay Comic Con this weekend, citing "family stuff." Apparently he's not our huckleberry, amirite? I guess he doesn't want us to be his wingman, you know what I mean? The whole thing is just not very Chris Knight, is what I'm trying to say. (We love you and hope your family is OK, Val Kilmer. We're just crushed.)
And finally, Duke Energy Florida, sometime provider of electricity and full-time lobby for enriching itself, ranked last among 13 southeastern power utilities in an annual J.D. Power customer satisfaction survey — just as it has every year since Duke bought Progress Energy in 2012. Drew Curtis (along with many, many others) was right the whole time.
This article appears in Jul 20-27, 2017.