Sh*t happened 7/29/16: Officer's gun stolen from unlocked car, SeaWorld dolphin dies, world's most Florida headline

"OK, now the conventions are over, and we can go back to not hearing about politics until the election in November," said somebody who, I don't know, maybe just popped into existence on this plane of reality for the first time ever?

Video surfaced of a recent Pasco vehicle burglary in which someone stole a gun out of a Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission officer's unlocked personal vehicle. Kudos to the writer of this story for quoting a source who tries to make it about people targeting law enforcement personnel while still giving off a pretty strong overall whiff of, "no, this is about a guy who left a gun in an unlocked vehicle, which is a pretty dumb-ass thing to do."

A dolphin died at SeaWorld's Discovery Cove. Now before you go all Blackfish, you should know the dolphin was undergoing treatment for a form of cancer that dolphins experience in the wild as well as in captivity. And — hello? Oh, right, you didn't wait to read the whole thing before going all Blackfish.

And finally, in the latest edition of Today's Most Florida Story Ever: "Florida man on ‘Molly’ chased ghosts with machete, endangered kids" — which includes the bonus of a hastily written headline making it sound like the dude chased ghosts with endangered kids. Journalism!

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