Sh*t happened 8/25/2015: St. Pete's PWA retires, Ferguson judge wipes city's slate clean, Rick Scott does his thing

Tuesday! It's like Monday, with cilantro.

St. Petersburg's public works administrator abruptly announced his retirement. Apparently, this has everything to do with his desire to spend more time with his family, and nothing to do with his decision to dump all kinds of shitwater into Clam Bayou during our recent torrential rainfall, a move regarded by some as gross and by others as "seriously, are you fucking kidding me?"

In a gesture he considers an olive branch to the community, Ferguson, Missouri's new municipal judge has invalidated all of the city's arrest warrants issued before 2015. What a non-terrible one-shot attempt at a solution that should mollify all parties involved in equal measure and not at all come back to haunt anyone when someone with an expunged warrant commits a violent crime in a couple of weeks, right?

Publicly functioning cryptid Rick Scott has state health officials auditing more than 100 Florida hospitals in an effort to maybe see if there's something he can skim find out what's driving up Medicaid costs. Hint: Capitalism, Mr. Governor. It's capitalism.

And finally, those two dipshits who were arrested for unlawful possession of firearms outside the Pokemon World Championships in Boston after insinuating they would be doing violence there via social media are being held without bail. Online, a lot of people are calling this whole thing a prank that's been blown out of proportion; well, yeah — any prank that includes the presence of a riot shotgun and AR-15 has swollen dangerously out of control whether the cops are involved or not. (Also, read the first sentence of this bulletin again and try not to weep for the future.)

(Image by Paul Sableman via Wikimedia Commons, used in accordance with Creative Commons licensing.)

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