One of our civilization's highest priestesses once asked, "Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the gods/where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?"
Well, there was only one hero around yesterday, and now he's gone.
So, the big live debate among the top 10 Republican presidential candidates happened last night. It would be great to make a big, eyebrow-raising joke here about how Trump was a bellowing cretin or Huckabee is an out-of-touch religious zealot or whatever, but the truth of the matter is, the whole thing was about as sadly predictable as an unfunny later-seasons episode of The Brady Bunch, only nobody learned anything at the end and WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO JAN'S HAIR?!
Jon Stewart anchored his final episode of The Daily Show. People in their 40s who still think they'd fit right in at any college party cried a lot.
Hunters buying licenses for the upcoming Florida black bear season may end up having to walk over and shoot a dead bear some other asshole just shot and then fight over the carcass, 'cause there might be more licenses being issued than bears to kill.
And finally, a guy who admitted to multiple sex acts with underage girls WHILE APPLYING FOR A JOB WITH THE MISSOURI STATE HIGHWAY PATROL was sentenced to 20 years in prison. Read that again and try to tell me why we don't need a special cannon for shooting some people directly into the sun.