Sh*t happened 8/8/2016: Bern's hires female sommelier, man arrested with butt-ton of drugs, A-Rod's last game to be against Rays

Opening ceremonies! Venus Williams! Phelpsie! Virginia Thrasher! Beach Tampa! Comic Con! A whole hell of a lot went on this weekend. Here's what you might've missed.

FRIDAY, AUG. 5:

Tampa institution Bern's Steakhouse hired its first female sommelier in the restaurant's six-decade history. It's great to know we've finally reached a place as a culture where a woman is viewed as just as capable of making you feel like a moron about something you're drinking as a man.

Authorities arrested an 18-year-old Gibsonton man for possession of 48 pounds of meth and 22 pounds of cocaine. Neighbors in the young man's trailer park characterized him as "a talkative, vibrating blur."

SATURDAY, AUG. 6:

Tampa ad agency Spark was a bit nonplussed to discover that elements of a mock campaign it designed for Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson had actually become an uncredited part of Johnson's marketing efforts. Millionaires! They really do think free shit just comes into existence to make their lives even easier.

SUNDAY, AUG. 7:

Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez announced that his final game with the Yankees will be against the Rays this Friday. Seeing as it's A-Rod's final game and it's a hometown gig for the Yankees, we're guessing that the Rays will probably "let" them win.

And finally, a 17-year-old Clearwater kid pulled a 71-year-old man from a car after the older man drove into a retention pond. The password's "peaked too early," kid.

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