Sh*t happened 8/9/16: Clinton in St. Pete, Rays the worst, Hard Rock charges for parking and everything sucks now

Do you ever get the feeling some people might stand out in the rain, looking up at the bruise-colored sky and smiling and repeating the phrase "we needed it, though" into the deluge until it chokes and drowns them?

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton visited St. Pete, with a stop for the press at 3 Daughters Brewing and a public rally at the Coliseum. Some local conservatives flipped out and vowed to never again patronize 3 Daughters, exciting the tasting room's bartenders about the prospect of higher tips per capita and a lower percentage of overheard conversations involving stuff read on InfoWars.

The Tampa Bay Rays launched a new website, the imaginatively named ballparkreimagined.com, and called on fans for suggestions for improving on the stadium experience. I'm just spitballing here, but perhaps not being the team with the worst record in the American League might make things a little more fun and exciting. (Also, further from my house.)

Speaking of outrage, the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino instituted a $10 parking fee, and everybody lost their minds. Mostly because they'll have to stop gambling $10 earlier in order to still go home with $10 in their pockets, one assumes.

And finally, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is asking that you please stop painting the shells of living turtles and tortoises, because it's bad for them and, really, is just the earth-hippie version of painting penises on the faces of friends who are too hammered to keep it from happening, anyway.

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