Happy Best of the Bay Day! Here, read this real quick, I'm just gonna rest my eyes for a second. See you tonight at the Mahaffey.
A 12-year-old kid was arrested for burglarizing a St. Pete elementary school while it was closed during Hurricane Irma. Some of the local news stories on this subject use the word "looting." I dunno if it was "looting"; "looting" to me conjures images of masks and melee, the whole "chuck the garbage can through the store's plate glass" vibe. Let's just go with "being an immoral little shit."
St. Pete mayoral candidates Rick and Rick debated last night for the first time since Mayor Kriseman won the primary by a hair and former Mayor Baker tantrummed embarrassingly about it. Did Baker's new hip-with-the-kids commercial come up? Because, c'mon, that's worth talking about. It's like when Subaru did that "just like punk, except it's cars" commercial.
A gas station in Pasco County was cited and fined more than $56K for selling crack pipes — without the proper signage disallowing minors from entering the premises. Bureaucracy is hilarious. If I lived in Trilby, I might need a little stimulation, just sayin'.
And finally, a new poll revealed that nearly half of Americans don't know that Puerto Ricans are also American citizens, which is harrowing on many levels to see as a statistically supported inclination but also not really shocking given the state of American public education as an institution. (I'm not downing teachers here — keep killing it, folks.) Not that it should matter, but if you didn't know Puerto Ricans were American citizens and now you do and that for some reason makes you more sympathetic to their plight than you would be if they were just regular old non-American humans, here's a good place to start learning what you can do to help them.