Sh*t Happened 9/4/2017: Try not to be shocked, but some pro-life Trumpers are humorless

I know, right?

click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 9/4/2017: Try not to be shocked, but some pro-life Trumpers are humorless
Anthony Martino

Happy Labor Day! Here's a brief history of the holiday:

LABOR: We'd like a livable wage and non-lethal working conditions, pls.

MANAGEMENT: Here's a day off. Try to die of exhaustion and alcohol poisoning away from factory property.

LABOR: Woo-hoo! Three-day weekend!

FRIDAY, SEPT. 1:

In a rare display of humanity, Florida Governor and not at all a Reploid Rick Scott broke with Donald Trump over the idea of ending the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program, which protects the children of undocumented immigrants from being summarily deported. I'm sure there's a very long German word for "the feeling when someone you think is bad does something good and it's so alien to your idea of that person that you're even more unsettled instead of happy about it," and that feeling is the feeling I'm feeling.

SATURDAY, SEPT. 2:

A free Ybor City concert by controversial South Florida rapper XXXTentacion was cancelled by authorities and the Orpheum after a crowd formed outside that far exceeded the venue's capacity. Hip-hop site XXL used the word "riot" in its headline about the cancellation, apparently on the word of some suburban kids who would die of fright if the middling trouble they tried to start actually turned into anything real.

SUNDAY, SEPT. 3:

And finally, popular Seminole Heights restaurant Ella's Americana Folk Arts Cafe held a Planned Parenthood fundraiser that included a "Dunk Trump" tank, and some people who still believe A) Facebook comments count as substantive political action and B) business owners don't have the right to not only express their political views but also back up those views with real, actual substantive political action got pissy about it. To be fair, refusing to patronize a restaurant whose owners hold different views does count as political action. But trying to get a progressive business shut down in Seminole Heights by rallying every Trump fan in the neighborhood is kind of like trying to get a Jimmy Buffett concert shut down by rallying every Pavement fan in the crowd.

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