Sh*t Happened 9/5/17: In which nature finally tires of tolerating humanity

She's coming for us, Barbara.

click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 9/5/17: In which nature finally tires of tolerating humanity
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We're not saying it's time to panic, we're just saying it might be time to maybe think about fitting in some panicking sometime soon.

Florida declared a state of emergency as Irma strengthened to a Category 4 (then Cat 5) and hurricane warnings were issued for Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Somewhere in a conference room high above the Rayovac battery factory, a group of old white dudes toasted to Hurricane Harvey.

Some people spent their Labor Day complaining about the smell at Pass-A-Grille Beach, where storm currents washed a lot of dead shellfish and other marine remnants ashore. "Still, the worst day at the beach is better than the best day at work," said somebody who's never driven three hours and stepped out of their car to run face-first into a wall of stench caused by a red tide fish kill.

An off-duty Lakeland cop captured a five-foot rattlesnake after a worker discovered it just chilling under the stairs at a power plant. Hey Nature, if you could give us just a little bit of a breather between rounds of sending shit to kill us by land or by sea or by the fucking winged crimson talons of night itself, just so we can sort of momentarily find our bearings as a species, that'd be neat.

And finally, some blog has named a, er, minimalist public bus stop in Brandon one of the "sorriest" in the country. Sure, Some Blog, that's totally how you publicly shame the state that's covered in man-eating dinosaurs and invented drug-induced face-eating.

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