Sh*t Happened 9/7/17: There's only one news topic

Thanks, Irbama.

click to enlarge Sh*t Happened 9/7/17: There's only one news topic

So, what happened yesterday? We all know what happened yesterday. The entire state continued to panic. States of emergency were declared in Manatee County and Tampa. Bottled water is almost impossible to find, like four days before a possible landfall, despite faucets, filter pitchers, jugs, jars, growlers, buckets and freezer bags all still working perfectly. Schools are closed, and all the things are cancelled. It's all anybody can talk about.

In short, Hurricane Irma has ruined not only everyone's peace of mind and everyone's weekend, but Sh*t Happened, as well.

People who don't know how insurance works are frantically trying to buy flood insurance, which generally doesn't kick in for 30 days and which insurance companies have about a million ways of not selling, particularly to customers in the potential path of a monster hurricane. Buying protection for the most expensive thing you will ever own, which holds most of everything else you will ever own: not the same as purchasing a fishing license the same day you decide to head out to Fort DeSoto to look for some redfish.

And finally, television-loving old-timey Wild West sheriff Grady Judd casually suggested yesterday that Polk County residents with active warrants might want to consider dying out in the storm rather than going to a shelter, since his deputies will be checking IDs and canvassing for them wherever refuge is offered. If threatening people with a lack of safety seems callous, perhaps you're right; if frightening people who might have been unable to pay a ticket in time or didn't re-register their pet seems perfectly OK, perhaps you're callous.


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