Let's review.
Two Zephyrhills homeowners are begging the city to change its code after receiving citations for owning a "mini pig" within city limits. We're all for changing the ordinance to allow pet pigs, but just remember: Mini pigs aren't a thing. That sucker's gonna get big.
Speaking of weird animal-ban stuff, American Airlines has a new service animal policy that will not allow you to bring your emotional support frog, emotional support ferret, emotional support hedgehog, emotional support snake, emotional support spider on its flights, along with a slew of other emotional support animals that make you go "somebody's got that as an emotional support animal?" Did somebody really try to bring an emotional support goat into the cabin on a flight? They're probably just trying to cover all the possibilities.
And finally, let's just close it out with some more animal-related nonsense: A 37-year-old Apopka man was arrested in the case of that gopher tortoise that was found spray-painted and covered in concrete last month. A 37-year-old man. A 37-YEAR-OLD MAN. Raise your hand if you thought this was gonna come down to a bored and poorly raised 13-year-old idiot. People. Are. The worst.
This article appears in May 17-24, 2018.