While swingers seem to have an endless supply of easy access sex partners, sometimes a room full of people seems more like a job than a good time.
Swinger clubs are fun places. The social aspect is far superior to any vanilla club. Since the purpose of going to a swing club is to meet other people and hook up, swingers are more likely to talk to a stranger.
I found myself recently at a swingers club and faced with the task of finding the right partner for the evening. The bar had a good mix of people. Many were close to my age. The 20-30-40 something is close enough to be a right fit for me. I always see some familiar faces at swinger clubs. Some of these faces belong to people I have fucked, but asa rule Soccer Dad and I enjoy the newness of someone new and avoid repeats. While we enjoy chatting and flirting with a one time fling, our radars are focused on someone new. Other faces belong to people we may have seen before on a swinger website or possibly at another club or event. All situations makes it easy to strike up a conversation. Don't I know you from somewhere?
As much as I am scanning the crowd for that random hottie that catches my eye, the same crowd is staring back as me as well. Sometimes I catch the same man looking at me time and time again. It's flattering and a potential opening for conversation, but never a sealed deal.
On this particular night I am in pursuit of a suitable hook-up. This is where the difficulty begins. There are many variables I look for to qualify a couple as acceptable for my taste. After all, swinging is about attraction and if I'm not attracted I'm not going to waste my time.
Looks – Is he attractive (otherwise do I like his face, teeth, hair)? Is he well dressed(nice clothing, not sloppy or out of style)? Is she hot? Is she wearing something sexy (or a neon polyester tacky dress)?
Confidence – Does this couple run to the bar for a drink before ever saying hello to anyone? This could signal the need for liquid courage and not a positive sign. Is the couple hanging around the bar, pool table, dance floor socializing or did they immediately choose a booth off in a corner? A confident person is 10X sexier than a wallflower.
Status – On premise clubs will give every patron a wrist band much like a vanilla bar. The difference is if your wrist band signifies bar side only or bar and adult play area. I will talk to anyone in a swingers club, but when the time comes that my libido is kicking into full gear I will gravitate to those who are willing to play that night.
Size – It's no secret that I like men with a big penis. Although some may find this offensive, I size men up based on what I think their penis will look like. I have had fun with many men with average and even below average dicks, but if given the choice I will pick the big dick over the little cock everyday. With this in mind, I am naturally drawn to taller or just broader men because they have proven me right more times than not. There is no fail safe way to select a man based on what my foggy mind thinks is a big dick, but experience tells me that three out four times I will be right.
After going through all these standards and procedures it's a wonder I ever get laid. The truth is sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I'm not overly particular. You don't have to have movie star quality looks to get my attention, but you can't look like Elmer Fudd either. That night Soccer Dad and I went home with only the company of each other. Don't be disappointed though, I still won the prize of the night. I got to go home with the hottest guy at the bar, my husband!
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This article appears in Apr 28 – May 4, 2010.