Living with a small cock must be something like being a zombie. You are stricken with a horrifying disease that controls your every move, causing you to perform inane acts all around town and in the barns of Pasco County. Contrary to popular opinion, you don't have to have a small dick to suffer from this condition. All you really need is insecurity. This can be caused by any number of things: lack of intelligence, lack of hair, lack of funds, and yes, a lack of penis.
This article appears in Feb 17-23, 2010.