So you wanna try anal sex: a beginner's guide to doin' the butt

Let’s get right to it, starting with lube. While lubricant isn't always necessary for vaginal penetration, it's essential to anal, even if you’re just playing with fingers. However, not all lubes are created equal. Forget your shitty KY, people. Respect the butt. It deserves something a little classier than the stuff your doctor uses to administer prostate exams.


The lube should either be water or silicon-based, as both are condom-friendly. It should have a thick, almost gel-like consistency, as opposed to liquid, to ensure it gets where it needs to go and stays there. Silicon lubricants stay slick and require fewer reapplications, but my favorite for anal play is a water-based lube called [image-1]


As for protection, yes, you still need it. Though anal sex can't get you pregnant, it certainly can spread STIs (sexually-transmitted infections), perhaps even more so than vaginal intercourse. Unless you're in a monogamous relationship and have been tested, you gotta use a rubber. Pair an ultra-thin condom with a damn good lube.


Prior to your trip down to anal town, take a thorough shower and eat clean, fibrous foods. Still, there's no getting around the fact that, yes, it's where poop comes out. Babies comes out of vaginas, too, but you don't think about that while you're going at it! As long as you clear out anything you might have up there (go potty) and take a shower before getting down to business, you should be fine.


When the time comes, always diddle a bit to get yourself excited for the main event. Have some oral sex or vaginal intercourse to get you all hot n' bothered. Warm up the tushy with fingers or anal beads.


Note about fingers: Nails are an asshole’s worst enemy. Even a short fingernail can tear the fragile tissue of the anus, so take extreme care. Beforehand, you should file the nail down, so that you can no longer feel it at all. Your tushy will thank you. Also be sure NEVER to put anything that’s been in the backdoor in the front entrance without thoroughly cleaning it first!


Back to the issue of anal foreplay. Whenever anal sex is portrayed in pornography, the women are able to take pornstar-sized cocks in their assholes without any foreplay. Don't be seduced by the fantasy of porn. Many of the smooth transitions are merely trick photography. These starlets use dildos beforehand to open themselves up for deep penetration.


As for positioning, I always recommend starting off with the person being penetrated on top. The partner “taking it” should be in control, at least in the beginning. When it comes to anal penetration, you should decide when, how, and how much goes inside of you. It can be an incredibly intense and even scary experience at first, so choose a partner you know well, one who has the self-control to let you take it at your own pace. A little bit in, a little bit out, etc.


My first few times experimenting with anal, I refused to be on top, assuming it would be easier and less stressful on the bottom. Boy, was I wrong. After a couple minutes on top, you can always switch it up, but I definitely recommend starting on top.


The exact “on top” position depends on the shape of the penis. If it curves up, toward his belly, you should be facing your partner. If he curves downward, face away (reverse cowgirl) from him. If there’s no curve, just go with what’s most comfortable for you. Either way, you should do it on a couch or comfortable chair as opposed to a bed. This way, you are closer together, making it feel more safe and intimate.


Just promise you won’t try it for two seconds, think it feels weird and pussy out. Remember that vaginal intercourse was strange and new at one point, as well. Stick with the butt and reap the benefits.


What are these benefits, you ask, aside from being a hot fuck? Let’s talk anatomy for a moment. You likely know that men have a prostate gland which is stimulated during anal penetration, but what makes it feel good for women? The perineal sponge, at the anterior wall of the anus, is chock full of nerve endings, as is the good ol’ clitoris.


The reason the g-spot feels good when touched is because it stimulates the clitoris from the underside. The clit isn’t just what you see on the outside. It actually goes a couple inches inside of you. So, depending on your position and the size and shape of the cock, anal sex can lead to indirect clitoral orgasms for some women. Neat, eh?


Once you’ve graduated from the top and begin exploring other positions, definitely try doggie. If you’re really going at it, his pubic bone will be smacking against your vagina, stimulating your clitoris and leading toward orgasm.


I know this all may seem a bit overwhelming, but don’t worry. Even if you’re not able to take it all inside or go for very long your first time, have no fear. Wait a few days and try again. You have to work up to full-on anal sex. Maybe a finger the first day, a small dildo the next, etc. It’s called “anal training.” If you’re new to anal play, it may take a while to get used to and comfortable with the sensations, but each time should get better.


If you’re anxious about the pain or the idea of having something in your butt, do whatever it is you do to relax. Smoke a joint, do some deep breathing, etc.


Basically, just remember to start on top, use a good lube and take it slow. Anal sex is definitely worth taking the time to explore. It can be an amazing, intimate adventure for you and your partner. It's also just feels so f-ing hot and naughty to have a big, hard cock in your tight, little asshole… mmmm. Excuse me while I call my fuck buddy.

Wanna give the backdoor a try, eh? Good for you. Why not, right? Think of it as a new and exciting addition to your sexual repertoire.

Nervous? So was I, but with years of reading, discussions, and practice under my belt, I’ve gathered a few pointers to ensure that your anal experience will be a positive one.

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