Chateaubriand Carpaccio, Bern's Steakhouse
These tender slices melt in your mouth, not in your hand. The mushroom marmalade you'll have to chew a bit, admittedly.
Chili Lime Beef Salad, Royal Palace Thai
This one is spicy and tart enough to take the taste of Bern's bordello interior out of your mouth.
Steak Burrito, Taqueria Quetzacoatl
It's as big as your head and twice as tasty (depending on the size of your melon, of course).
Slice of pie, Sally O'Neal's Pizza Hotline
Excellent crust completely subsumed by gooey melted mozzarella — the perfect way to end an evening.
Restaurant row: SOHO