The presidential election is lurking around the corner, and if the devil has his way, Sarah Palin will be one-heartbeat away from the Oval Office come Jan. 20, 2009. Don't get me wrong, I would totally do her. But the thought of this pit bull with lip stick — who couldn't name one newspaper she reads or correctly define the role of the Vice President to an elementary school student — running the country, or any part of the continental U.S., has me scared shitless. I've created a Top 10 song tally to help me cope with anxiety. Enjoy.

Top 10: Songs for Sarah Palin

10. North to Alaska, Johnny Horton

9. The Lady in Red, Chris de Burgh

8. Lipstick Lies, Pat Benatar

7. Hit Somebody! (The Hockey Song), Warren Zevon

6. Pistol Packin' Mama, Bing Crosby and the Andrew Sisters

5. The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game, The Marvelettes

4. What Do You Do For Money Honey, AC/DC

3. Evil Woman, Electric Light Orchestra

2. Stupid Girl, The Rolling Stones/Garbage

1. Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother, Jerry Jeff Walker

Sarah Palin on foreign policy