I just had to share with you my first reaction at reading this headline: "Santorum dips toes in 2012 Iowa waters." My first thought was "Ewwww," followed quickly by "Is that even possible?" After all, santorum is something that is dipped into, not something that can dip. And then I remembered that before "santorum" meant santorum it actually designated a person, a senator. But it took me a few seconds.
Congratulations on a job well done. I expect I am not the only one who had this moment of cognitive dissonance upon reading this headline.
A Faithful Reader
Ben Smith at Politico recently reported that Republican former U.S. senator Rick Santorum plans to run for president. Political Wire linked to Smith's post and added that "Santorum has a serious Google problem." Truthdig linked to Political Wire's post and spelled out Santorum's Google problem: "The former senator's rampant homophobia inspired sex columnist Dan Savage to launch a campaign to usurp the conservative's name. The result: If you type 'Santorum' into Google, you'll find that it refers not to a former senator, but 'that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.'"
From uppercase Santorum making the news with the announcement that he intends to run (runs?) for president to the full definition of lowercase santorum — in just three steps.
And who deserves the credit? Not me. The credit is yours, dear readers. It's thanks to you that SpreadingSantorum.com — a blog that I haven't updated since July of 2004 — remains the number-one hit on Google when you search "Santorum." It was a Savage Love reader who first suggested that we usurp Rick Santorum's name, another Savage Love reader who suggested the "frothy mixture" definition, and Savage Love readers who chose the winning definition in a free and fair election. Well done, gang.
We can't take credit for Santorum losing his seat in the U.S. Senate to Bob Casey by 18 points. That was Rick's doing. But we helped to make him ridiculous — there were so many headlines during his failed re-election campaign with "froth" or "frothy" in them. And for a politician, being an object of ridicule is a problem, which is why SpreadingSantorum.com and the "frothy mixture" definition of santorum are going to be a problem as Rick runs for president.
"Maybe it's time to start updating SpreadingSantorum.com again," writes Savage Love reader P.B., "now that Rick is running for president."
I couldn't agree more, P.B., but I'm a busy guy these days. I blog every day at thestranger.com/slog, I do a weekly podcast, I've got a bad case of talking headism, and I'm working on another stupid book. So I just don't have the time to give SpreadingSantorum.com the attention it needs.
But maybe some Savage Love readers do?
If SpreadingSantorum.com is going to remain Google's top hit when you search "santorum" — and it should — then the site needs to come back to life. So I'm looking for a few folks who want to torment Rick Santorum by following every twist and turn of his sure-to-be-disastrous run for the White House on SpreadingSantorum.com. (I may dip in every once in a while and post myself.) It would be labor of love — read: a nonpaying gig — but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you're driving Rick Santorum and his supporters absolutely batshit (batshittier?).
If you think you're the right person for this gig — if you think you're right for SpreadingSantorum.com — write me at [email protected].
There have to be people out there, walking among us, who enjoy having sex with those stretched earlobe holes, right? The first cook to be kicked off the new season of Top Chef had her lobes stretched around what looked like rims from P. Diddy's ride. I'm writing for confirmation that this "community" exists.
Happy With Seven Holes
As a general rule, HWSH, if it can be fucked, someone out there somewhere is fucking it, has fucked it, is about to fuck it, and has already posted videos of them fucking it on XTube. Not every hole gets a "community," HWSH, but every hole gets its fair share.
