Sh*t Happened 2/19/18: Stormy Daniels a...bust and other convenient innuendo

Your President's Day edition.

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Sh*t Happened 2/19/18: Stormy Daniels a...bust and other convenient innuendo
Flickr user Christian Collins/CC BY-SA 2.0

It's President's Day. How will you be honoring our Commander-in-Chief this fine day?

If your employer was kind enough to give you the day off, might we recommend deleting the Twitter app from your phone and going for a long stroll on the beach? Eating a kale salad topped with curried tempeh? A couple glasses of a nice, dry rosé? Cuddling with your dogs? Reading? Or something else that's equally non-Trumpian?

Here's how your compatriots spent this fine President's Day Weekend.

FRIDAY, FEB. 16

Someone you thought was the. worst. five years ago announced his bid for a U.S. Senate seat representing Utah. He doesn't seem so bad now, does he? Why's that? Perhaps those years of political observation have caused you to soften your views and proudly declare you're a moderate. Or maybe the world has gone fucking mad. 

Porn star-turned-hero-we-deserve Stephanie Clifford (a.k.a. Stormy Daniels) performed at Tampa strip club Thee Dollhouse multiple times Friday and Saturday, but to the chagrin of politicos hoping for dirt on her alleged Trump tryst, she revealed nothing...except for, you know, the stuff she's paid to reveal. (Oh, and props to Times veteran Lane DeGregory for turning a real shit sandwich of an assignment into a quite pleasant beach read.)

SATURDAY, FEB. 17

Florida Republican donor Al Hoffman sent a letter to multiple GOP leaders pledging to cut off his generous financial support for them if they don't support an assault weapons ban in the wake of yet another deadly school shooting. In other words, he's threatening to do literally the only thing that can make the average Republican politician go against the NRA.

Meanwhile, across the state, including St. Petersburg, hundreds, if not thousands, of people gathered to do something that tends to not influence most politicians: passionately call for change on gun laws at the state and federal level.

SUNDAY, FEB. 18

In the world of Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd (a.k.a. Southern-fried Joe Arpaio), preventing school shootings means arming teachers and professors to the teeth. We don't see that, um, backfiring, do we?

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