Stormy Daniels says Trump has "Yeti pubes"

Hold on to your lunch.

click to enlarge Stormy Daniels says Trump has "Yeti pubes"
Gage Skidmore [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

OK, this is worse than hearing the words "Bill Nelson" and "penetrated" in the same sentence.

[Warning: Descriptions of Trump's private parts ahead.]

The Guardian managed to grab a copy of Full Disclosure, the tell-all book by Stormy Daniels (an adult actress who was paid off to keep quiet about her alleged affair with the guy who currently sits in the Oval Office), and the descriptions of Trump's wiener are, well, gross.

"Daniels had seen the dick, been intimate with the dick, and knew what the dick looked like," according to Jezebel, "but was holding out for just the right moment. That moment is now. Here it is. The dick."

[Another warning: Seriously, this is is your last chance to escape words about Trump's flesh trumpet.]

Read below for excerpts from the book.

  • She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”
  • “He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… "
  • “It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

...and our personal favorite:

  • “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart... "

Yeti pubes. Damn. Call your local bookstore to see if it is going to carry Full Disclosure.

About The Author

Ray Roa

Read his 2016 intro letter and disclosures from 2022 and 2021. Ray Roa started freelancing for Creative Loafing Tampa in January 2011 and was hired as music editor in August 2016. He became Editor-In-Chief in August 2019. Past work can be seen at Suburban Apologist, Tampa Bay Times, Consequence of Sound and The...
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