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Study finds that sexual selfishness makes for better sex

By Sex and Love editor on Mon, Jul 5, 2010 at 2:40 pm

more sexual dissatisfaction. This suggests that a degree of selfishness is key to a happy sex life.

At first this may seem counter-intuitive, but it makes sense. For younger couples, sex and dating are still new and exciting. These couples have sex because they enjoy it. On the other hand, the older couples have likely been together much longer. For them, sex is neither new or adventurous.

This is not to say that sex is all downhill after 30. I bet the maroirty of the subjects over 30 had been together much longer than the younger couples. If researchers surveyed 30 somethign couples in new relationships, their sexual satisfaction would be comparable to their younger counterparts. Similar results would likely appear in couples engaged in extramarital affair where sex is the main, if only, focus.

This study doesn't suggest that you should be more selfish in the bedroom. Rather, it just means that having sex because you're horny is not a bad thing and will lead to better sex than having sex out of a sense of obligation.

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The study, "Emerging Adulthood: An Age of Sexual Experimentation or Sexual Self-Focus?" examines how our motivations to have sex at various stages in our lives correlates with our partners' sexual satisfaction.

60 couples, half 18-25 and half over 30, completed questionnaires regarding their reasons for sex and their enjoyment of sex with their current partners. Researchers hypothesized that selfish motivations would be linked to less sexually satisfaction, but they found the exact opposite.

For 18 to 25-year-olds, the motivation for sex is primarily selfish—-they want to have sex mainly to please themselves. Couples over 30 are motivated more by a want to please a partner or due to a sense of obligation.

As expected, sexual satisfaction decreased with age. However, selfish sex wasn't linked to higher rates of sexual dissatisfaction. Quite the opposite. Sex for the purpose of pleasing another actually resulted in