You'd think mankind had pretty much exhausted its collective imagination for things to do during the sizzling season: Marco Polo, Freeze Tag, Skinny-Dipping, anything that involves both alcohol and nudity.
You'd be wrong. What follows are some new games, created especially for our 2007 Summer Guide, that we trust will be all the rage during the long, hot Florida summer to come.
Suntan Lotion Art Show: Contestants apply sunscreen to the canvas (i.e., their body) in artistic patterns. The winner, to be determined by a panel of judges, is the person with the best burn. Contestants are to be awarded points both for the severity of the burn and the artistic merit of the design.
Hands Free Barbecue Cook-Off: Who amongst you is tough enough to face the flames? The rules are simple: Cook a steak over an open flame without using your hands. We hear this one will be on Survivor next season.
Pit Stain Rorschach Test: After being issued identical white T-shirts, contestants spend a stifling summer day mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, washing the car, emptying the gutters and cleaning the pool. At the conclusion of the event, the competitors' T-shirts are removed and photographed in close up. The sweat stain that forms the most recognizable pattern ("It's Idaho!") wins.
The Don Quixote Hurricane Challenge: Entrants must own a boat, a massive lance and a generous life-insurance policy. When the first rain bands of any named storm hit MacDill Air Force Base, challengers are to assemble within two hours in their boats at the mouth of Tampa Bay. After two hours, the race is considered underway, with the competitors propelling their boats straight into the path of the raging storm. The first one to stab Betsy or Irene or Claudius in the eye wins. A N.O.A.A. storm hunter aircraft must confirm the poking. Awards (and that life insurance payoff) will be forwarded to your next of kin.
The Eco-Friendly Challenge: Sure to be Al Gore's favorite new game. Eco-Friendly Challenge participants live without air conditioning both at home and in the car. Last one to drop out, drop dead or go completely insane wins.
The House to Car to Office Sprint: Racers compete to see exactly how little real Florida summer air they can breathe and how little they can sweat while walking briskly from an air-conditioned house to an air-conditioned car to an air-conditioned office. For the second (ahem) heat, go from air-conditioned office to air-conditioned car to air-conditioned house. Bonus points for stopping at an air-conditioned Publix. —Eric Snider
Mosquito Whack-A-Mole: Competitors slather themselves in a mixture of animal blood and barbecue sauce, then sit at dusk by a lake near a fire pit where a pig is roasting over an open flame. The one who kills the most bloodsuckers in 15 minutes wins a bottle of calamine lotion.
The Blacktop Parking Lot Barefoot Race: East meets West when all the life-affirming Zen fun of walking across hot coals collides with the capitalist thrill of competition. Off with those loafers and socks; first one to complete one lap around the lot wins.
The Watching an American Chopper Marathon Marathon: Contestants waste an entire Saturday (but stay extremely cool in the process) by watching those knucklehead mechanics yell at each other while customizing motorcycles on The Learning Channel. Whoever watches the most consecutive episodes wins. A dozen to 15 hours should put you in the running. —Eric Snider
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This article appears in May 9-15, 2007.
