With Kasich and Cruz out, enter the Summer of Trump, Part Deux

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click to enlarge With Kasich and Cruz out, enter the Summer of Trump, Part Deux
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It was all fun and games in the summer of 2015, a carefree time when Donald Trump seemed like just an eccentric ol' billionaire humping whatever scraps of attention he could find.

Back in those days, our biggest worry was what drinking game we would play during the GOP debates. We giggled at Trump's poll numbers climbing despite his spewing racist, sexist, xenophobic diatribes; we thought it was a fluke. And hot damn, if we weren't entertained...

But now, this hilarious popcorn political tale has a sequel.

The real estate mogul turned reality TV star is the only. One. Left.

After all, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, the adorably unlikable teabagger the Republican establishment pushed as a viable alternative to Trump as it held its nose, dropped out after losing the Indiana primary Tuesday night.

Ohio Governor John Kasich, a distant third by all measures, is said to be skedaddling Wednesday, a move that "seals the deal" on Trump becoming the Republican nominee.

That means that while last year, Trump was just the sideshow in a GOP clown car stuffed to the gills with nearly 20 others, he's now the main character.

It's unclear how the script will read.

Will he pivot to the left like he claims he's going to?

"I'm so moderate. You cannot get any more in the middle than me, trust me," he might say.

Or will he stay where he is, bashing immigrants people who aren't rich all while unwittingly saying incredibly misogynistic things?

We're guessing it'll be something of a sampler plate, and what he says on any given day will depend on where he's speaking, and to whom.

In the meantime, moderate, mainstream Republicans are just going to have to summon their inner Chris Christies and halfheartedly urge support for the guy their voters chose.

Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus on Tuesday night took to Twitter to urge party unity in order to beat the one they really hate, Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton.

You see, their hate for Donald Trump can be quantified in some degree via a bulleted list that includes "alienates educated women," "foreign policy roulette," etc., but at least he's a useful tool in turning out the ever-precious low-information vote.

Clinton, on the other hand, they hate with a blind rage that knows no bounds, a hate they themselves probably don't even understand.

As Floridians, we in particular should be excited, as presidential candidates will likely spend much of the summer and fall whispering sweet nothings to the I-4 corridor, which some politicos deem the Holy Grail of presidential politics.

It's even been rumored that Trump might cast Governor Rick Scott as his Number Two.

So we've got a lot to look forward to, especially if Trump gets elected and every year becomes a no-holds-barred, action-packed adventure.

Just don't expect any nods from the Academy.

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