Swinger facts you didn't know, but should

hot:  I know many of you still think swingers are middle-aged or old, hairy, gold chain wearing, overweight, tacky people. This idea must be leftover from the 70s.  I have been to many swinger gatherings and while not all have been full of fabulous people,  most are attractive people who take pride in their bodies (which means they aren't overweight).


2.  Some swingers lie: Swingers tend to have two lives:  swinger lives and their regular lives.  Sometimes these lives don't mix and we have to fabricate one to protect the other.  While you may not like that I won't honestly tell you about my career or my real name, you have to understand that not everyone in the world is as accepting as you may be so I must protect myself.  I don't tell you things to try to impress you, but to save myself in the long run. Get over the notion that you need to know everything about me to fuck me.


3. Swingers hate drama:  While I have been party to drama a time or two myself, for the most part all swingers should avoid drama.  Did you have a life altering event recently?  Don't attend a swinger party to forget.  Drunk and jealous?  Another bad image at a swingers party. Swingers don't forget your bad behavior so just attempt to avoid any type of drama altogether.


4. Swingers talk too much:  When drinking, avoid telling all your secrets (or someone else's).   I know you may have a burning desire to tell everyone that you fucked that guy last weekend and he was lame in bed. It's not your place to tell everyone.  Maybe he's out there saying the same thing about you - doesn't feel so good, huh?   Or you have had too much to drink and you tell others your wife had lipo on her hips and that is why she looks so good- this isn't something you should share, ever.  I have heard people tell about their significant other's veneers, lipo, implants, Rogaine, Viagra use - the list goes on and on.  Even though you may find it funny, interesting, or a fun story, some things are better kept to yourself.


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I had a great time this weekend at another swinger party.  Since I was not the hostess and wasn't attempting to network with anyone, I had the opportunity to just blend into the crowd (my next event is  Dec. 17th).  And even though I was only wearing my swinger hat, and not my Rebecca Ammon - sex writer hat, I still found time to make some mental notes.

1.  Most all swingers are

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